Blah! blah! blah!!

The reason I took up writing on this space is that it offers me a great platform to vent out all my feelings and emotions, which otherwise would remain hidden in the realms of my mind!! And I can talk about anything and everything under the sun, sounds cliched, I know!!:)

And so, here I am, with my hands on the keyboard...all set to go "blah..blah" ing!!

K..so first let me introduce you to the two most influential people in my life-My mom who's a pillar of support and one person who has an amazing will power..never seen anyone who's mentally as strong as her, nor do I think that I'll ever come across such a person!! Secondly there's my sister, who is at times bossy and rude, but is a true sweetheart. She's always there for her dear ones and can go to any extent to help them out. She's gregarious, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky,loves company and is the darling of the house. In short she's all that, that I'm not!;)

This very fact used be a problem for me, until a few years ago. People used to say "Oh, this girl..she's so good in dealing with people, a very nice person..etc etc" and I used to turn green with envy, coz I'm not one bit of the person she is. I'm shy, a little silent...and though I love people's company, I don't let it be seen on the outside. I was always thought of to be a rude, ill-mannered kid who CANT TALK!! lol!! People complained that I could never talk...:)

I always asked myself...Why the hell can't I be like her?? Why do people prefer her company so much? Why do they plainly ignore me??It hurt me.

Being compared to my own sister, listening to comments of all sorts, kind of, affected my self- confidence so much that I preferred being in my own little world that I'd carved for myself. I never wanted to get out of my cocoon, for I feared facing the world, THE BIG BAD WORLD I called it! The whole notion of being social, laughing out loudly, enjoying with people seemed like a dream to me..and thats what I wanted. I wanted to be "her", I wanted people to enjoy my company also..I wanted to feel loved and cared for :)

Until one fine day, I realised that I cannot be her..I had to be MYSELF...I had to have an identity of my own. People may rather hate me for what I am, than love me for what I am not!! I had to love myself first, for people to love me :) And, now I know, the true me and what I want!! Though it took me about 6 years and my whole high school life to overcome my inferiority complex and insecurities, I'm glad that I did it!! I'm glad that, at this juncture, I can tell that I'm proud of being myself! :):)

People do complain now also that I can't talk...But....WHO CARES??? Is life all about going "blah blah blah "